Unanswerable Questions about Lost Things.
If I were my copy of " The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" cast album, where would I be?
If I were my bottle of wood glue, where would I be?
If I were my tube of Chapstick, where would I be?
If I were the brand-new package of printer paper, where would I be?
And IF I WERE MY [expletive] WORK I.D. CARD, WHERE THE [expletive] WOULD I BE?
(mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter
